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"The Howard-Smith Collection"

Transcription copyright: 1998, by Mrs. F. A. Augsbury; all rights reserved.
The originals are at the McClung Library in Knoxville.

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To: C. J. McKinney
From: Mary Elizabeth Gaines McKinney
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                                                                 April 5, 1865

My Dear Husband
    I cannot let this opportunity pass without writing. Although Fan has given
you all the news  I have been so anxious about you since you left.   if I could
hear you had reached Nashville safely I would be better satisfied.  I dreamed
last night you sent me a dispatch that you were very sick which I hope is all
a dream, but you know I am a little superstitious especially concerning you.
Home is dreary and lonely  being with you in Knoxville spoiled me but if I
thought we would be again together then I would be happy.  Will you ever be
safe here again-I feel as though you never would & I have lost all attachment
for this place since you have been treated so badly & hunted like a wild beast.
I almost hate the world especially the reb portion.  I would gladly leave this
country if possible.  It seems we will not be able to send the children to
school they have no place to board no kin no friends  Sam Gaines was out the
other day & agreed to board them if I could send him wood & supplies the wood
I told we could not haul but I thought he had concluded to take them but he
sent me word if I could get boarding elsewhere he would  prefer it.  & you
know I never push any children on anyone  Fan is going in to day to see what
she can do.

    You dont what a relief it is to have Jacks family out of the yard so
quiet no loud words no fighting or cursing I would not have them back for
anything to get rid of Dic & Lin!( They just stole everything they could
get their hands on) is the greater relief in the world.  Aunt Mary & Bill
just took the oxen & waggon without leave & I did not know but they would
take them on to Knoxville would if they had not been afraid I would send
after them they cut up high if ever you have it in your power I want you
to pay them up.  Jack proved the rascal as I always told you he was they
have taken all the axes we have none to cut wood.

    Riley came over with one of his smirks on to know something about Bony.
I told him I understood he had made his arrangements with him before you
left but he denied  I told him all I asked was the privilege to hire one
of his if I felt like it  I give him plenty he looked like a scared dog
just what he is  ___(?) was in a good way the rebs had fine news had routed
Sherman captured ten thousand of Grants men etc. etc.  I suppose that was
the reason he did not go to Knoxville with bill Kylo(?) said there was no
telling how this thing was going  I suppose he will wait and see  The cows
you wintered for Toad belong to the College or rather to George Powels.
I will have to let Sam Gaines have the one here  if Davis comes what ground
will he work.  The house is all uncovered & the floor out.

    Susan is going down tomorrow to ___________(?) send letters to her for
us write us long letters and tell us all about yourself if you like 
Nashville take good care of your health you know there is so much depending
on you I an just no account we will all do the best we can but we miss you
so much  I cant live away from my dear old man it is true I have my children
but that dont make up your place  I think Sis did the boy injustice he is a
great deal better than when I came home he asks God to take care of his papa
every night & bring him home again & my dear husband it is the prayer of
every one of us continually all send there best love to you it seems you
have gone so far from us I almost dispair of ever seeing you again if you
get sick remember you promise to let me know it immediately  nothing will
keep me from going to you I could write another sheet but will write soon
again twice a week you promised to write Tom Miller was shot in the head
Saturday by Willis's men. Some of your relations very much exerased
[exercised (?)] about you freeing your negros if you had staid at home you
might have been lynched  Wilbr Carter was caught at the Gap Saturday going
through as a spy I suppose they will shoot him.